Everybody deserves a second chance right? What about an eight hundred million five hundred Sixty three thousand two hundred twenty fifth chance?
That’s approximately how many times I have tried and failed to form healthy habits around cleaning my house and organizing my life in general. Habits are hard when you have ADHD. I still, after almost 40 years, have to reward myself with a checklist and a gold star just for remembering to brush my teeth everyday. It’s not like I don’t want clean teeth, or a functional house. It’s just hard to remember, transition, and motivate. I wrote earlier about habits around the home. I do try… But I often fail.
The good thing about my ADHD tendancies, is that I tend to be particularly unfazed by failure. It’s not that I enjoy it, or that I don’t feel shame over it. Because I do. But maybe I just forget what it feels like each time, or maybe I’m just so used to failure I’m just not bothered by the statistics. I don’t know, but I am very good at trying again, doing something new, or moving on to my next highly unlikely to succeed idea. I’m very used to friends and family smiling and nodding along with a look in their eyes that says “I wonder how long this will last.”
So even though I fail to do my laundry everyday more weeks then not, I have only about a 75% success rate of writing here everyday, and I constantly have to check my teeth for fuzziness, chances are, I’ll keep trying. Because that’s just part of who I am.
So if you notice I stop writing for a day or two (or a few weeks), don’t stop checking. I’ll be back. If you leave a like or comment, I might even be back sooner because of the prompt.
Today I’m going to get my laundry and kitchen done. Then I’m going to study for the test I’ve been constantly rescheduling, so maybe I can finally get it over with next week.
Bye for now!
