For the last four and a half years since my 3rd child was born, and I realized that being a homemaker was not going to come naturally to me just because I’ve given birth to children, I’ve been on a mission to figure out what it means to be, and how to become, an effective housewife.
I’ve read blogs, and books. Watched endless hours of youtube, talked to friends and family, and tried various methods from Marie Kondo, to minimalism; from trying and failing to establish strict routines, to praying desperately for God to help me. I’ve tried to “find my why”, meditate, hire a cleaner, and pretend the chaos doesn’t bother me.
Then I was diagnosed with ADHD, and I finally found myself in amongst the shame, and disgust. I found compassion and understanding of and for myself. Then I found community. I researched and read and reflected, and researched some more. I learned about ADHD its effects on daily function, and how that fits in with my struggles to be a typical mom, housewife, and homemaker. Through podcasts like “ClutterBug”, and “A Slob Comes Clean” I came to realize, there’s a whole demographic of people who struggle in many of the same ways I do. And there’s people who have systems and methods that can help. But mostly I finally understand that it’s ok to struggle. I’m not lazy, my brain is simply not wired for consistency, routine, or order. My brain needs novelty, pressure, and change. Habits are harder to form and easier to break for me then the average person. Here are some things I’ve found work for me when I do them (and there’s no guarantee I always do them.)
1. Do the dishes after every meal (or at least put the dishes directly in the dishwasher.) Run the dishwasher every night, and unload it every morning.
2. Do one load of laundry (including folding and putting away) everyday.
3. Get rid of stuff you don’t need, don’t save things for ‘someday.’ it’s not worth it.
4. Sweeping/Vacuuming daily helps keep clutter off the floor, and makes me notice the mess to begin with.
5. Doing things that are important to me, is better than doing things that must people swear by but I really don’t benefit from. (ie. Making my bed is nice but not a big deal for me, but I do like to have my clothes folded in my drawers)
It’s taken me 4 years, but I’m now ready to begin. This blog is my starting point. As I learn what works for me, I’ll share it with you. And I’ll try to end, as I have been, with something I have accomplished, or intend to accomplish, in my home that day.
Today I put away 3 loads of laundry, and changed the adult bed sheets.
